- - -unrequited love (Jacks!) *

[cohen nathaniel phillips]

TAKE A BREATH TAKE IT DEEP CALM YOURSELF HE SAYS TO ME IF YOU
PLAY YOU PLAY FOR KEEPS TAKE THE GUN AND COUNT TO THREE • • •
& i'm sweating now moving slow no time to think my turn to go
AND YOU CAN SEE MY HEART BEATING
YOU CAN SEE IT THROUGH MY CHEST

Cohen stepped onto the freshly manicured lawns of Norrington Academy, his long, gangly legs carrying him forward with each step. It was Saturday evening and the school was awfully quiet. Not that he blamed anyone, the sun was still shining and it was a weekend. Every normal teenager in the tristate area went out on weekends. Except for Cohen. But Cohen wasn't your average teenager. The only time he left the school campus was to go to his job at the local Cinema, but other then that, he was either holed up in his room playing video games or reading his comics, or in the library doing homework.

The grounds were empty save for a couple make out under a tree and a person reading a book on a nearby bench. Cohen passed the people, making his way to his favorite spot. Cohen had found out about this spot last week, when he was trying to get some peace and quiet. He saw that practically no one came to this spot, so he declared it his. It was a giant oak tree, probably a thousand years old, on the far south east corner of the grounds. It provided excellent shade on sunny days and it sort of hid him from every one else. It was secluded, just the way he liked it.

The reason Cohen was so anti-social could probably date back to the second grade, when everyone would tease him just because he said things that other kids found weird. He would always be constantly picked on and given countless wedgies. He couldn't help the way he was, he simply just was. Only because he would rather read books than play with other kids. There was only one person who understood him, a girl to be exact. Cohen smiled to himself at the irony. He was terrified of the female species and yet his best and probably only true friend growing up had been a girl. She wasn't just any girl, though. She was his best friend, his confidante. You wouldn't think a kid needed one in the second grade, but Cohen definitely did. And they were inseparable until she moved away in the fifth grade.

He remembered the day perfectly, It was implanted in his brain and he couldn't get it out. It was the week before the sixth grade would be starting and Cohen had just finished his latest book, The Catcher in the Rye. He was in his backyard when he had finished and so he just hopped the short fence like countless times before and rushed over to tell Jacqueline that this was by far his favorite book. She would always tease him, saying that every book he read he claimed was his favorite, but Cohen was sure about this one. "hey mrs. D'aubigne." Jack's mother was painting on the back porch. She jumpled slightly, spilling a bit of her red wine. She opened her mouth to tell Cohen something but was too late, he was already headed up the stairs for Jack's room. "Jack! Jack! It was amazing! You have to rea-" when he reached her room, he cut himself off. Expecting to see his best friends' freckled face, instead he was greeted by an empty room. The bed had been stripped of Jack's flower patterned bed sheets and the closet was empty. And the picture of her and Cohen at the beach from a couple of summers ago was no longer on her night stand. At first, innocent, young Cohen thought that maybe she moved into a different room, but reality struck like a bolt of lightning and soon it had hit him. Jack's was gone. But why? Where did she go? When did she leave? And most importantly, why did she leave with out saying good bye? Jack's mother stood at the threshold as Cohen turned around. "she really didn't want to leave with out saying good-bye, but it was just such short notice." Cohen couldn't look into her eyes, nor could he speak. He didn't want her to see him cry either so he just pushed past Mrs. D'aubigne and ran as fast as his skinny legs could carry him.

The memory played through his head like a broken record. Cohen remembered how much he cried that night, but from then on, life was a total blur. He became even more socially awkward than before and distanced himself away from girls. He was afraid that if he let someone in as close as he had let Jacks, they would leave him just like she had. Cohen knew it was ridiculous of him, but he just couldn't get over it, even after so many years. Sometimes he wondered what she was like now. If she still thought about him or missed him or even remembered him. Was she still the care-free little fire cracker she used to be, who would never let someone get to her and would always stick up to anyone being mistreated? He hoped so.

Cohen sighed as he leaned back against the great Oak's trunk, thrusting his hands into his pant pockets. He let out a small laugh, shaking his head. It had been so long, he wouldn't be surprised if Jacks had just been a fragment of his imagination. He looked up at the sky to see that the sun was just beginning to set. In California, the sun always set around seven or eight, sometimes later in the summer time. He let his head drop slightly and looked down at the ground. He almost snapped his head off from how fast he looked back up. Right in front of him, he saw a tall, female figure heading across his way. The girl had semi-tanned skin and long, dark hair. Cohen couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was as if thinking of her had conjured her out of mid-air. "it's not her, Cohen. You're going nuts.". But something about this girl seemed so familiar. He started walking forward with out realizing it. He was determined to see who it was, he wanted to know he at least has a tiny bit of sanity left in him. As he approached, his eyes flew open in shock.

That freckled face was unmistakable.

words 1040tagged Jacqueline notes haha, i can never do this again xD
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION

[jacqueline anne d'aubigne]

tell me does she miss you, existing just to kiss you
LIKE THE WAY I DO
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Silence was all you could hear coming from the buildings of Norrington Academy. Next to the darkening sky, it seemed as if it were isolated and secluded. But it wasn’t. In fact it was a regular Saturday night where all the students took their chance to escape from their dorms or the dreaded cafeteria food, and go out. Even the school grounds looked bare under the setting sun. It was empty, apart from a few people who seemed to be minding their own businesses while enjoying the typical breezy Californian air.

Jack clutched her guitar tightly as she looked over at the milky horizon in front of her, letting the cool breeze hit her body softly. God knows why she was sitting by herself on a Saturday night while all of her friends were out partying. But she was. It was just one of those typical days where you didn’t feel like socializing or getting completely drunk. Thinking about it now, she had those days often. Actually a little too often now that she had hit senior year. Anyone who would see her would think she was home-sick or merely just asocial, which wasn’t particularly true. She was a people person who would always be surrounded by people, and even if she loved Norrington in her own little way, no she wasn’t home-sick. There was just too much on her mind lately and being always around her classmates and friends began to annoy her slowly. She wanted some alone time. To be alone with her and her guitar. As stupid as it may have seemed for some people, she saw her guitar as her companion. Her soul mate in other words.

She strummed a few chords as she hummed slowly, closing her eyes to enjoy the sound the wooden instrument was producing. She leaned back slightly, letting her dark chocolate colored hair fall perfectly into place behind her back. “Somewhere over the rainbow way up high, there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby” she sang, her voice loud and clear in the evening air. “Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true. Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me…” she stopped playing as she let her voice trail away. It was one of her favorite songs, having heard her father play it so often when she was a child. A child. Opening her eyes she looked into the distance as if she were trying to find an answer. She was still a child, yet somehow when she had lived at home she had felt more like one than she did at that very moment. Sure she had grown up a lot during her time at the boarding school, but it was just different. The people were so different from her parents, or even the people she used to play and be together with nearly every day of her childhood. During her schooling years she had met a lot of great people, some who even became her best friends. But there was just something missing and she knew the answer to that. They weren’t like Cohen.

Obviously they weren’t. After all he was one of a kind. Someone so special, that it was sometimes hard for her to believe that he even existed. It was as if he had always just been a fragment of her dream. Someone who came to her during the night and put a soft smile on her freckled face. Someone who just made her feel at home. Jack’s heart skipped a beat as she thought about Cohen again, knowing that she hadn’t for a long time. It had been nearly four years since she had seen him, their last game together of hide and seek having actually been the last time they ever saw each other. Thinking about it now… she didn’t even say goodbye. Her move to Santa Ria had been so abrupt and shocking, that she had needed a few days to actually fathom that she was gone for good. Remembering all of this made her stomach twist in agony as she looked down at her delicate hands on her guitar. She had had the chance to write to him. To tell him that she was at a boarding school. To give him her address so that they could start writing letters to each other. But why hadn’t she? Probably because she had accepted the fact that he was a part of her past. Her childhood. Jack realized her mistake a little too late though, which was in fact this very moment. Cohen had been her truest friend, her significant other. He had cared for her more than any other friend had. Yet when the time had come for her to move away, she had erased their friendship from her mind as if it had never existed in the first place. God knows he probably hated her now, which was definitely better than seeing their friendship crumble away because of how she felt for him. Yes, she had liked him more than just a friend and maybe still did. But there was definitely nothing she could do now. Her naivety had gotten to her, so she had turned her back and walked away.

The thought of liking Cohen had frightened her, knowing that she had never in her life felt like that about anyone. Not only that but she didn’t want to get hurt. Having heard so many stories from her mother about heartbreaks and friends falling in love, she thought it was best to just let it go before it would harm her. And there she was, sitting all alone in the school grounds watching the sun set as she thought about Cohen. A friend she would never find again.

Jack smiled rather sadly as she stood up, still clutching her guitar in one hand. Dusting the dirt off her white dress, she straightened herself before taking a look around the school grounds. Unfortunately she hadn’t been the only person there as she eyed a couple sitting on a bench, making out. They were too far though for her to even make out who was who in the darkening sky. Which also meant: they hadn’t heard her sing. Her sad smile transformed into a happy one as she turned her heel and headed towards the girls dormitories. On her way she passed an oak tree and saw, from the corner of her eye, someone sitting on their own. At least she wasn’t the only one who would rather spend their Saturday night sitting alone instead of going out. But then again, it had just been that one particular night. Next week, she’d definitely want to join her friends for a bit of drinking and dancing.

Completely unaware that it was in fact Cohen who was sitting underneath that tree, she didn’t stop and just continued her way to the dorms.

WORD COUNT one one seven two
NOTES Hope it's good love
TAGGED Cohen!
STATUS Finished
WEARING Same thing she's wearing on the pic, except with a tank top underneath xD
CREDITS Like the way I do - Melissa Etheridge
by Doe-Eyed Harlot of Caution.

[/blockquote]
[/center]

[cohen nathaniel phillips]

TAKE A BREATH TAKE IT DEEP CALM YOURSELF HE SAYS TO ME IF YOU
PLAY YOU PLAY FOR KEEPS TAKE THE GUN AND COUNT TO THREE • • •
& i'm sweating now moving slow no time to think my turn to go
AND YOU CAN SEE MY HEART BEATING
YOU CAN SEE IT THROUGH MY CHEST

"Jacks?"

He hadn't meant to say it out loud, but once he did, he wanted to take it back. What if this familiar figure wasn't her? He would be completely humiliated and never talk to a girl again. But he couldn't resist. He was itching to find out, and maybe he would get lucky. Just this once, maybe he could get something he wanted. Realization hit him. What if it were Jacks? Wouldn't that be more terrifying than having it not be her? What does one say to someone you were so close to, and then stopped talking to all of a sudden? His expression softened a bit. This was Jacks, she was his best friend. He remembered how once, he was being picked on by the fourth grade bullies. Jacks seemed to come out of no where and hit the boy who was about to hit Cohen, square in the jaw. "You're such a wimp, Phillips, having a girl fight for you." and with that the bullies all ran off. Cohen looked up at Jacks, who was looking down at him sympathetically. She outstretched her hand and a smile lit up her adorably freckled face. "Come on Cohen, don't pay any attention to them. They're just jealous because you actually talk to a girl." she said with her trade mark grin. Cohen smiled at her, taking her hand. She was right, as usual, and she always managed to some how make him feel better.

Cohen stood there as if he were rooted to the Earth beneath him. The girl hadn't heard him, which only made him feel worse. He was actually excited to see Jacks. Maybe she hadn't heard? Yes, that was probably it. Suddenly, Cohen did something that was very un-Cohenly of him. He began to jog. Yes, jog. Something Cohen dreaded since he had an asthma attack while running in P.E in the sixth grade. With each step, his speed increased until he was at a full on run. His breathing was grew heavier and his palms clammy but he didn't care. He watched as the girl walked- her back towards him- her long, chocolate colored hair, swishing around her like a curtain. He knew it was her, he could feel it. This time he didn't hesitate. "Jacks!" He slowed down as he neared the figure. This was it, all or nothing. If it wasn't Jack, he would apologize and stagger off as usual, go back to his room, and never come out again except for classes and to eat. But if it were Jacks... For the first time, Cohen was doing something reckless, something he hadn't planned out first. To many people, saying a simple greeting to some one would be like breathing. To Cohen, it was a struggle.

When the girl turned around, It was as if time had stopped. Cohen swore he could count every freckle on her face, like he had done so many times before when they were children. Jacks would always fall asleep before him and he couldn't fall asleep before looking at her, first. He didn't think much of it when they were seven, but as he grew older, he realized that he had developed a feeling far greater than love for Jacks. She was more than his best friend. She was his other half. And it wasn't only because she was the only girl that would talk to him. All the other girls just seemed immature compared to Jacks. For a young girl, she was a perfect balance of fun and adventurous but serious when applicable. Cohen never realized these feelings until she left. That was probably why he cried so much. He never had a chance to tell her how he really felt.

He looked at the freckled face in front of him and instantly recognized those deep, brooding eyes. His heart was racing, but not from the jogging. He could feel it pounding on his rib cage, he was so nervous. But sometimes, chances were made to be taken and this was one opportunity he was glad that he seized. "Jacks," he repeated breathlessly, this time more sure of himself. He seriously wanted to feel her face, and his fingers raised slightly, but he restrained himself. He just wanted to make sure he wasn't dreaming. and if it were a dream,

he never wanted to wake up.

words727tagged Jacqueline notes
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION

[jacqueline anne d'aubigne]

tell me does she miss you, existing just to kiss you
LIKE THE WAY I DO
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

From the distance Jacks heard someone say her name. She didn’t turn around though and instead kept walking towards the girl dorms. She was nearly a hundred percent sure that they had mistaken her for another “Jacks” since she hadn’t even recognized anyone at the grounds. Also, Norrignton Academy was literally huge now that it was finally co-ed. There would definitely be more than one “Jacks” or “Jack” running around. It was a typical boy’s name after all and nearly every second boy around the area was called that. It was unusual to call a girl that but that was exactly what she loved about it. The shortness and boyishness of it. It fit her perfectly like her dad would always say. She wasn’t exactly a tomb boy, in fact she was the complete opposite at times, but she was also probably the only girl in her school who hated to wear make-up or anything of the sort actually. Not to mention she also looked rather boyish, having obtained some of her father’s masculine features. You could definitely see why she was her daddy’s little girl. Many people found her beautiful though, different from other girls you see walking around Beverly Hills, and that was what made her special. Her parents had originally planned to call her just Jack, but then realized that people would talk negatively about it around their neighborhood. Hence why she ended up being called Jacqueline. Not only was it French, but it was also a girl’s name and a fairly long one at that. It made it easier for people to start calling her “Jacks” even if her passport said otherwise.

Jack was snapped back into reality as she heard her name being said again for the second time. Whoever was saying it definitely was addressing her, or else they wouldn’t even come running towards her, right? Turning around slowly, she nearly dropped her guitar as she saw who it was. She couldn’t believe her eyes. It was as if she was seeing his image in the wind, which disappeared in a matter of a second. She blinked, and blinked again, and again before noticing that the figure standing in front of her was in fact Cohen and not a hallucination. Just a few minutes ago she had been thinking about him… It was as if God had conjured him out of nowhere so that she could finally have her chance to say a final goodbye. She wasn’t going to do that though, actually, it was the last thing she was going to do. Now that he was here, she was never letting him go no matter what. “Jacks” she heard him say again as he stared at her, clearly in the same state of shock as she was in. He was still the same tall lanky boy she remembered him as, even his face hadn’t changed a bit. He had grown older though. A lot older.

As the shock wore off a little, Jack dropped her guitar gently onto the ground as she closed the gap between her and Cohen. Basically jumping onto him, she embraced him with a tight hug and didn’t let go for a couple of minutes. She wanted to feel his heart beat against her chest, his soft breathing against her ear, his long arms around her upper body, she just wanted to feel everything. Proof that he was in fact real and not a part of her imagination. More than anything, she just wanted to know that their friendship was still there and that it hadn’t disappeared during all those years. The warmth of his body was too comforting for her to let go. Ever.

“Hey Cohen” she whispered softly still hugging him as she closed her eyes, letting a tear run down her cheek.

WORD COUNT six three six
NOTES shorter cause i didn't know what to write D:
TAGGED Cohen!
STATUS Finished
WEARING Same thing she's wearing on the pic, except with a tank top underneath xD
CREDITS Like the way I do - Melissa Etheridge
by Doe-Eyed Harlot of Caution.

[/blockquote]
[/center]

[cohen nathaniel phillips]

TAKE A BREATH TAKE IT DEEP CALM YOURSELF HE SAYS TO ME IF YOU
PLAY YOU PLAY FOR KEEPS TAKE THE GUN AND COUNT TO THREE • • •
& i'm sweating now moving slow no time to think my turn to go
AND YOU CAN SEE MY HEART BEATING
YOU CAN SEE IT THROUGH MY CHEST

She was beautiful.

She was beautiful and hadn't changed one bit. When she wrapped her slender arms around his neck, he didn't hesitate. For once he wasn't his awkward self. He wrapped his arms around her body and hugged her back, squeezing his eyes shut tight. He wanted to cry, like he did when she left, but this time, they weren't tears of sorrow. He was so over joyed and fealt as if he were her high. Cohen had never been high in his life, but if he were, he imagined that this is what it would feel like; Floating on air. He breathed in her familiar scent, a rush of nostalgia flowing through him. She was really here, Jacks was really here, hugging him. He never wanted to pull away but he had to, in fear that if he didn't, he would really start crying. He pulled away, slightly and reluctantly, boring his oceanic blue eyes into her gorgeous dark ones. "Jacks," he repeated, he couldn't stop saying her name. He grinned sheepishly and then hugged her once more, laughing gleefully. He was at loss for words and it was as if the only word he knew was her name. He pulled back, looking her up and down, his smile broadening. "Wow, I-it's been... wow" he laughed a bit nervously but let himself go. He was with Jacks, his best friend. She knew everything about him. Every quirk and habit he had, she knew. Every like and dislike, every secret; everything.

And yet, he didn't know what to say to her. After sharing so much, after she was such a huge part of his life, he felt like they were strangers. A lot could change after six years, afterall. He didn't even know if she was exactly the same or a completely different person. Cohen knew for sure that he hadn't changed one bit. He was still as awkward as he was six years ago. But come to think about it, he didn't know anything about her anymore. Highschool is considered a giant part of ones life and he missed all of hers. He didn't know if she'd gone to her first party yet, or drank her first beer, or had her first kiss. Things that they were supposed to experience together, he didn't know. For a quick second, he felt like Jacks was just another girl, and he was making a complete fool of himself. Any minute he expected her to laugh at him or walk away, but she never did. His anxious feelings calmed down as he told himself that Jacks was not just another girl. "Oh," he said, softly as he noticed she had one single tear on her cheek. Without even thinking his finger grazed her cheek and wiped it off. He lingered there for a moment, looking at her. He still couldn't believe it. That feeling of doubt that was nagging at him had disappeared, and now he felt kind of guilty that not five minutes ago, he was blaming Jacks for why he was the way he was. That playful smile he had back when they were children reappeared on his face.

"You have some explaining to do, missy." He said in a playful, yet gentle manner. He wasn't being accusatory, he just wanted to know why she stopped communication entirely. He didn't understand why she didn't just send him an e-mail or write to him. Every night he would sit at his computer, hoping that she would IM him or send him a message. That message never came, and he soon stopped waiting. All he wanted was clearance, so he could put it all behind him and move on. He wouldn't dwell on it any longer. Besides, Jacks was here and she wasn't leaving. He wouldn't allow it. He would hold on to her,

he never wanted to experience what he did growing up again.

words650tagged Jacqueline notes
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION

[jacqueline anne d'aubigne]

tell me does she miss you, existing just to kiss you
LIKE THE WAY I DO
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was him. It was the Cohen Phillips she had known as a child: her best friend.

Jacks felt him pull away for a moment, boring his eyes into hers, those deep blue eyes that she had loved with a passion, those eyes that she had dearly missed, before finally hugging her again. He was at a loss for words, she could feel it, but then again so was she. There was so much she wanted to say to him, to tell him how she felt. But somehow her cheek muscles felt too heavy all of a sudden, resisting her from opening her mouth. Yes, she had a lot to tell him but how would she start? After so many years she felt like she couldn’t even talk to her own best friend. As if he had become a total stranger. Yet inside she was screaming at herself to say something, trying to encourage herself that he wasn’t a stranger but her best friend. She opened her mouth slowly but no words came out. How on earth could she tell Cohen, her best friend, that she was sorry for breaking contact, for never telling him the truth on how she felt, for not being there for him when he had needed her? She just couldn’t.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word. Elton John was right; it was the hardest word. Growing up Jacks had heard that song so many times, even sang it to Cohen, yet she never really grasped the reality of it. She had first heard it at the age of six when her father had played it for her on the guitar. She didn’t understand at that time how just one word was so hard to say. She said it all the time to her parents and friends, and in truth had no difficulty doing it. “On day, you’ll end up in a situation where you’ll be able to say anything you want. Except for ‘sorry’” her father said to her as he laid her down onto her bed. “What kind of situation?” the little six year old asked. Gaston D’Aubigne pulled the covers over his daughter gently as he looked into her eyes in the dark, hesitating for a moment. “You’ll see once you’re old enough” was all he said as he kissed her on the forehead before leaving the room quietly. That night she spent countless hours trying to figure out what her father had meant. She never found the answer though and as the sun began setting, the little girl fell asleep.

“Oh” Jack heard Cohen from a distance as she came back into reality. He wiped the tear from her cheek softly, letting his hand linger upon her face. She barely felt it. It was as if a silky fabric was caressing her face, barely touching her. Yet it was enough send shivers down her spine, it was an electric shock against her creamy skin, making her feel utterly weak. It felt so good and unreal she could barely stand. Her legs were like jelly, ready to collapse any moment. She smiled softly at him, her eyes boring into his. There was such a powerful force behind those deep blue eyes that she couldn’t look away, to break the spell between them. He had grown older, yet those eyes of his hadn’t. She could see, feel the playfulness behind them, his soul, the real him. Whenever she had looked into them, she had felt secure as if she was at home. The feeling came back as she stood there, speechless.

She was only inches away from him, yet it felt like a mile, as if she wasn’t close enough. Raising her hand slowly she placed it on top of his which was still on her face, as she turned her head slightly, basically hiding her sorrow behind his hand. Closing her eyes to stop herself from crying she stood there in a moment of silence before finally opening her mouth. “Cohen I-” she said, not able to look at him. “I’m so sorry for what happened.” Of course it hadn’t been her fault for being sent away. After all she had never done anything bad for her parents to want to get rid of her. All they had wanted was to give her the best education she could get. Yet it was her fault for not writing to him, to tell him that everything was okay with her, to tell him that she wouldn’t be able to see him. For a while at least.

She took a deep breath to calm her nerves down as she opened her eyes again and pulled his hand down along with hers. She didn’t let go though, she couldn’t and didn’t want to. It wasn’t like her to be this way, and god knows she hadn’t been like this for a long time. Actually looking back, there had never been a time when she had been at a loss for words, so emotional, so insecure about her feelings. Then again she had never felt this guilty in her whole life. She had never missed someone as much as she had missed Cohen who, standing in front of her, felt like a stranger, an old acquaintance who she didn’t know, yet in a way she did. He was literally the first person to see her this way.

As a playful smile formed on his lips she relaxed, grinning up at him. Her emotional side had disappeared as fast as it had come. She was back to being the loud, happy, hippie-like girl she had always been. It was as if what had just happened earlier hadn’t happened at all. It was just a hallucination, an image of how she had felt and she never wanted to see that side again, ever. ‘Past is past and you can’t change it, but you need to look at the future in order to be able to amend things that had happened in the past’ and this is exactly what she was going to do. Never was she going to let him go again. She was older now, and her actions would definitely be more mature this time.

Jack let out a small laugh as she heard Cohen speak again. "You have some explaining to do, missy." And indeed she did, yet she wasn’t going to tell him the complete truth. She wouldn’t lie, no, but time would make him realize why she did what she had done. She was sure of it. He was a smart guy after all. “Mhhh” she pretended to be thinking as she began marching towards a quieter place, happier than she had ever been. “Let’s not talk about sad stuff that happened in the past. Instead I want to know how you’ve been. I want to know literally everything that I’ve missed. All your firsts and what not” she said playfully as she began running. She was so hyped up with energy all of a sudden she didn’t even know where she was running. She just wanted to get away for a while. To spend some actual quality time with him.

She realized that there was a lot she had probably missed. She knew that he was shy and unstable at times, but she was more than a hundred percent sure that he had lived through a lot during his high school years. At least a lot more than anyone would expect of him. It was sad that they hadn’t had a chance to go through their ‘firsts’ together, to be able to run to each other for guidance, or merely just comfort. Six years was a long time after all, and a lot had definitely happened to Jack. How she wished she had had the chance to confide in him when she had her first kiss, the one she regretted more than anything else. Her first drink that lead to chaos, yet at that time she had completely enjoyed it. Her first boyfriend, who was more of a ‘rebound’ for her than anything else. All these things were completely normal for a girl growing up, yet thinking about it now, she was ashamed. Not with herself, but with her actions.

These were things she hadn’t told anyone, even her closest friends. But now that Cohen was finally here, she knew she could open up completely. She just had so much to tell him.

WORD COUNT one four zero nine
NOTES uhm, i got sorta carried away o.o
TAGGED Cohen!
STATUS Finished
WEARING Same thing she's wearing on the pic, except with a tank top underneath xD
CREDITS Like the way I do - Melissa Etheridge
by Doe-Eyed Harlot of Caution.

[/blockquote]
[/center]

[cohen nathaniel phillips]

TAKE A BREATH TAKE IT DEEP CALM YOURSELF HE SAYS TO ME IF YOU
PLAY YOU PLAY FOR KEEPS TAKE THE GUN AND COUNT TO THREE • • •
& i'm sweating now moving slow no time to think my turn to go
AND YOU CAN SEE MY HEART BEATING
YOU CAN SEE IT THROUGH MY CHEST

Her hand felt warm on top of his. It was exactly the same, yet, different. Of course, it was a lot bigger then when they were children, but it gave him that same familiar feeling. The feeling of security. The feeling that no matter what- he could always count on her. “Cohen I-” He heard her pause slightly. He looked into her eyes and saw that they were filled with sorrow. “I’m so sorry for what happened.” Cohen shook his head vigorously. "It wasn't your fault-" he began. It was true. It wasn't. As much as he could blame Jacks for everything that happened; Her leaving, not keeping contact- he just couldn't find it in himself to blame it all on her. He could just imagine how she felt, he could see it in her deep brown eyes right now. She felt just as bad as he had. She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes and then opening them once more. He felt her take his hand and pull it down, but she never let go. Cohen took her hand in his and entwined their fingers, looking down at her freckled arm.

Cohen remembered how when they were younger, Jacks would always hold his hand to calm him down, or soothe him. It was a simple gesture, but it worked nonetheless. When they were younger, it never made him feel nervous, it was comforting to know he had a best friend who would do anything for him. But as they grew older, the simple gesture became more intimate. Jacks was - after all- the first girl he'd ever held hands with; and the only girl at that. He looked down at their hands and then his eyes trailed back to her face. She had a beautiful heart-shaped face and long, silky, dark hair that Cohen would find himself thinking about at times. He loved the way she kept it, natural and wavy, and the way it got lighter when she would be out in the sun for very long. He always noticed that her thick, long lashes were always lighter at the tip, like her hair. Cohen found his eyes trailing down to her luscious bow shaped lips. They were a beautiful pinkish hue and he loved how they were always curled upright at the edges, as if she were thinking of something that only she knew, which only made you want to get to know her more. He quickly adverted his gaze from her lips up to her eyes. He was afraid that if he stared for any longer, he would want to kiss those lips.

Cohen felt a wave of emotions crash through him. It was very overwhelming but he was happy nonetheless. Seeing Jacks again was like a dream come true, one that he'd wished for many times in the past. Now that it was happening, he couldn't believe it. “Mhhh,” The hum of her voice rang through his ears like a sweet melody and he found his knees wobbling slightly. If he weren't holding her hand right now, he might have doubled over. “Let’s not talk about sad stuff that happened in the past. Instead I want to know how you’ve been. I want to know literally everything that I’ve missed. All your firsts and what not.” He watched as she let her hand slide out of his and she marched over to find a place to sit. He grinned as he saw the same playful expression she had as a child. This was his Jacks, she hadn't changed one bit. Like a puppy on a leash, he followed her, transfixed. As what she said finally registered in his brain, he blinked slowly.

All his firsts? He'd never kissed a girl; he'd have to have a girlfriend to do that. Sex was definitely out of the question. Although, even if he did have sex, he would be pretty uncomfortable talking about it with Jacks. Never smoked or did drugs. He did drink beer once but that turned out horribly wrong. It was freshman year and he was attending his first ever party. The two boys he used to hang out with- Jeremy and Anthony- were as obsessed with Star Wars as Cohen was. The only thing they loved more then Star Wars were girls, but Cohen never really understood that. All they would lie talk about were how many girls they'd kissed or how they looked like naked. Sadly, Anthony and Jeremy were Cohen's only resources concerning the opposite sex. Cohen never thought of them as his best friends, just two people he could play video games with. He actually found them rather annoying. "Come on, Phillips, don't be such a wus." a thirteen year old, acne infested Jeremy had said. "I don't see you trying it." a younger Cohen said, glaring down at Jeremy and Anthony. "I told you he wouldn't do it." A short, round, Anthony said. Cohen shook his head and angrily grabbed the beer from his hands. He remembered how awful it tasted, and wondered what person actually really liked such a vile drink. The rest of the night ended in a blur, but the next morning, Cohen woke up naked, save for his under wear, on the school roof.

Besides that unfortunate encounter, he never 'experienced' high school like people did around him. He was always too afraid to meet new people, too shy to go to parties and too awkward to ever talk to girls. He would always much rather be alone. Cohen didn't blame any one but himself for how he turned out. Maybe if he were more outgoing he would have more friends, but he just couldn't do it. All the friends he had as a child were because of Jacks. He was supposed to be more independent as he got older. But meeting people would just remind him of Jacks and he sometimes wanted to forget about her. Now that she was right in front of him, he felt really nervous. What would he tell her? "Everything that's happened? well, I still like comic books, never talk to girls and am still a total geek. What about you?" He knew that sounded totally lame, and not that he wanted to impress her or anything, but he just couldn't tell the truth to her. "Uhm, me?" he cleared his throat, coughing slightly as he sat down on the nearby bench. "Well uhm- I..." Cohen dropped his head slightly, feeling defeated. He couldn't lie to Jacks. "Nothing. Literally. I'm still the same ol'... geek." He said, lifting his head up and giving her a small smile. "But seriously, I want to hear all about you." He said, looking at his best friend. "I'm sure your stories would be much more fun to hear then mine." He joked, laughing nervously. Before she could protest, he took her hand once again and looked at her. "I'm really glad you're here." He said, softly, blushing slightly. He wasn't one for being corny but he was genuinely and completely happy that Jacks was here.

He knew without her, he would never be able to survive.

words1,188tagged Jacqueline notes sorry it took so long! and AWEE i love them both to bits!<3
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